Jan 31, 2011

Looking to the future

Feng Shui says I'm going to be one cranky-hot tempered Rat this year.
So apologies in advance.

I'm looking forward to stop (eh?) I mean quitting my job. I really want to start taking my masters.
I'm thinking of taking Education.
But, the courses doesn't
I wonder if I can take a different course.

I love my job, I really do miss my students when we don't have any class. I love seeing their faces when they get good results. To me a B is as good as an A when the student has worked hard at it.
But seems like people see my work as a joke.
Something so easy to do.
They expect good results as its an easy subject to 'score'.
There's nothing wrong with that, for now, its the only way to measure the student's understanding.

But I don't think I can stand this job any longer.
Its loosing its 'fun', I'm losing my drive to go on teaching them.
I'm starting to think of myself as joke of a teacher.

When I started, I wanted to give my students hope.
I want to give my students confidence.
But I'm losing hope and my own confidence in teaching them.

When I started, there's more than 20 As, now there's only 9 students who managed to get A.
And they measure this.
I'm disappointed at myself.
Its like every 2 steps forward I take, I'm pushed 3 steps back.

I don't want to go crazy, doing the same thing over and over again.
But stopping or quitting.. I don't think that's an option either.
I'd feel like I'm running away from my problems.

What to do, what to do?


Ganaesh said...

I stand by my assessment: it's not that you're a bad educator. Far from it, I think you're a wonderful educator, willing to try out new and innovative ways of teaching your students. Those two students who got Bs are a testament to that.

It's where you're working. It's the college. Not the students or the staff, but the administration. It's blatantly that they care more about their overall profits and KPI than about the students and the quality of education.

It's the same in MMU as well. :D

Cherane said...

(Wah beby, panjang nya XD first time ni. Should I take a picture?)

Thanks beby!